Jonnie's Classic Car Jokes : Forecourt Garage Jokes with humour, wipers and pigs to make you laugh and giggle.

A Fair Deal

A man went into a garage and said "Have you got a wiper blade for my classic?" The Garage owner took a look outside on the forecourt at the half completed project and replied "OK. Seems like a fair deal".

For That!

A man went into a garage and said "Have you got a wiper blade for my 'classic'?" The Garage owner took a look outside on the forecourt at the half completed project and with a big grin replied "FOR THAT! You must be joking".

My Restoration Project!

How do you double the worth of your restoration project? Fill up the petrol tank.

How do you half the worth? Buy some more parts.

Water in the Carburetor

"My wife phoned me just before the autojumble, and she told me, "I've got water in the carburetor." I was suitably impressed so I asked, "Where's the car?" she said, "In the river!"

Jokes Every Man Should Know

Click he image to see more about the book.
Writer and humorist Don Steinberg was not interested in compiling a thousand gags into a giant paperback, because he knew most of the content would be bland. Instead, he set out to compile the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the "Jokes Every Man Should Know". Here are jokes for business trips, blind dates, and family get togethers. When applicable, Steinberg has included history about the origin of the joke and/or alternate versions, along with a visual rating system to indicate the best audience for the joke. © Amazon

Out in my Austin Healey

I was in out in my Austin Healey the other morning when my boss rang up and informed me "You've been promoted". And with that I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again".
And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said, "Now ... you're the Managing Director".
And I drove into a tree. Then a policeman came up and humorously asked, "What happened to you?"
So I told him, "I've careered off the road".

Autojumble Addiction

Did you hear about the Autojumbler who got addicted to Brake Fluid? He says he can stop at any time.

Two Kids Arrested

The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

One Way Motorway

Jonnie was driving home last week when his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Jonnie, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M4, you must be careful". "You are right" said Jonnie, "But it's not just the one car, it's all of them!"

Every Silver Cloud

Jonnie was driving down the road and a saw a 1962 Classic Rolls Royce Silver Cloud coming the other way. Although there was enough room to pass easily, Jonnie maneuvered such that the oncoming Roller was forced to slow down. Jonnie wound down his window and shouted 'Pig!'. The Rolls-Royce driver looked in his rear view mirror raised his fist and swore profusely. But with that the Roller hit the pig!

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