jonnie's Classic Car Jokes! part 2


Oh No She Doesn't!

What kind of car does a lady in a pantomime drive? - A dame-ler

Pulled Over

A bobby pulled over a classic car driver and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
'Huh ... I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks'.

Jokes Every Man Should Know

Click the image to see more about the book.

Writer and humorist Don Steinberg was not interested in compiling a thousand gags into a giant paperback, because he knew most of the content would be bland. Instead, he set out to compile the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the "Jokes Every Man Should Know". Here are jokes for business trips, blind dates, and family get togethers. When applicable, Steinberg has included history about the origin of the joke and/or alternate versions, along with a visual rating system to indicate the best audience for the joke. © Amazon

Original Joke

Why did the Classic Car Owner install a rear window heater even though it wasn't an original factory feature? So his family could keep their hands warm when pushing!

Surgical Precision

Five surgeons are taking a coffee break...
1st Surgeon: "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd Surgeon: "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon: "Try electricians! Everything inside THEM is colour coded."
4th Surgeon: "I prefer lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
5th Surgeon who has been quietly listening to the conversation: "I like British car restorers... they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."